>52 marathons in 46 weeks<

2017 got off to the worst start and 52 x 52! never entered my mind. And only doing two marathons in the first 4 months, along with the ensuing elections, both local and general, I had a lot to get on with. On top of delivering 10 yellow pages rounds and 5000 magazines to Plymouth surrounding area I was keeping busy albeit not running. Well 52 in 52! was a wild idea, not having any idea of what it meant and number 3 came on 6th May quite unintentionally. Really I’d entered the ox half but ran the ox 12 hour instead and felt awful leggy and tired and breathless. It was a struggle. I walked a lot and was so glad when completed. As I drove home I just couldn’t understand what was wrong. I’d been ill for 2 years with many trips to doctor and consultant, never actually proving very much other than ischemic heart disease, coming about during the heart break heartbreaker. Good run to have a mini stoke/ heart attack but the tracing looked awful and sent panic around the doctors the next day!

I felt awful, ran terrible and was coming to terms that 2016 would be the last year of running marathons and just had to deal with it the best I could. Loosing Marty on 4th January 2017 just added to my torment and headed deep down to the deepest darkest place I’ve ever been, and I’ve got to be honest I still wonder today how I’m actually still here to tell this story.

Dragging my body and weak mind around races was torment. I felt terrible in mind, body and soul and just didn’t know which way to go. I had highs but mostly lows and anyone with mental health knows how low you go and how hard it is to lift one’s spirit when there is so much negativity around. I hated my life, what I did and who I was. I just could not focus or think rationally and just wondered on. To my surprise, and still taking it in, I got elected on council, I don’t know why. Such a shock and with my mental state it took two weeks to sink in. Continue reading →